Do You Love Me, Now that I’ve Made My Bucket List?
I’ll show you mine if you show me yours
What is all this fuss about bucket lists anyway?
I keep hearing it from every corner. Have you made your bucket list yet? What’s on it?
At first, I just ignored these busybodies. Don’t they have anything better to do with their time than hound me about a silly ole bucket?
But that only egged them on. And rather than put all my eggs in one bucket, I decided to see what all the fuss was about.
So I slogged through my fear, plodded through my uber-active proclivity to procrastination, buckled up and buckled down, and made my list. And while I haven’t shown it to a soul, until now, I betcha my bottom dollar all the others pail in comparison.
Before I begin, I’ll have you know a lot of research and planning went into this list. And soul-searching. And the usual Googling, of course.
So without further ado… Marilyn’s Beaten and Battered Bucket List:
1. Mop Bucket: Thank God, I’m making this list, cause until this moment, I thought a mop bucket was just that, a simple little mop bucket. But no, it turns out, there are bells and whistles.
Well not literally, though that might prove interesting. Maybe it would whistle when it’s time to wash the floor and ring the bell to announce, all clean. Since that happens so rarely in our house, it would be nice to get acknowledged.
But the bells and whistles actually are wringers and spinners. Truth be told, they’re accessories that help the mop more than the bucket–which is a sign of good teamwork. The wringer keeps the mop from sopping.
And the spinner apparently does the same thing but is more entertaining. Here’s what the folks at The Chicago Tribune had to say:
What’s more, spin mops add a little bit of fun to the cleaning process. There’s something satisfying about watching the mop head’s merry-go-round motion in the spin basket.
Whatever floats your boat, or your bucket.
2. Coal Bucket: If you heat your house with coal, you’re gonna need a bucket to haul the coal from the coal bin to the heating stove. Let’s hope this is not the case as burning coal is a global warming no-no. Even if it only heats one room and there’s nothing global about that.
Every little bad bit adds up, compounding the problem.
Even if you don’t heat with coal, you may have a fireplace. If so, you’ll need a fancy bucket to haul away hot ashes. Or even cold ones. Because ashes pile up fast and can easily spread all over. Messy, messy.
Then you’d have to get out your mop bucket and clean the floor around your fireplace. So a coal and ashes bucket is a timesaver. Now a little bit of ash in late December is good. Gives Santa a soft spot to land on. But you don’t want to overdo. Otherwise, his cleaning bill will go through the chimney. Which could be a deal-breaker. Try explaining that to the kids!
3. Fuss Bucket. Oops, that’s not a real bucket. It’s supposed to be a fussbudget. That’s someone who fusses or is fussy, especially about trifles. That’s from the Urban Dictionary.
Don’t they know you’re not supposed to use a word to define that word? Ah, but there I go being a fussbudget. Let’s get back to buckets.
4. Honey Bucket: This one’s complicated. For beekeepers, it literally is a bucket of honey. Keepers risk getting stung, which is why they have those elaborate white hazmat suits for them to wear.
Now while that’s sweet, the other meaning’s not so much. Honey Bucket is what they call bucket toilets. Basically a bucket with a toilet seat over it. Not very sanitary, but used in places where the alternatives are even less so.
Honey Buckets also refer to porta-potties. In fact, it’s one of the brand names for those portable outhouses you see at concerts and construction sites.
We lived in Japan in the mid-1960s. There, honey Buckets were what they used to carry human waste to the fields where it was used as ‘night soil.’ You know, organic fertilizer. Honey Bucket trucks did this on a bigger scale. Always a good idea to stay behind them while they were street cleaning.
There’s also a band out of Portland, Oregon called Honey Bucket. And a 1993 song by the Melvin’s as well. Now which meaning of the word were these musical folks after? Depends on how the songs sound, right?
5. Obama’s Bucket List: Our former president also had a bucket list. Or something that “rhymes with bucket.” He’s actually funnier than I am so we’ll let him explain…Enjoy!
Seriously, folks, all kidding and kicking aside, I wrote a, not the, book on bucket listing. Specifically, how to get started on yours. It’s called Bucket Listers, Get Your Brave On: How to Do the Thing You’re ‘Too Old’ & ‘Too Scared’ to Do.
Marilyn Flower writes humor to laugh the changes she wants to see and make. She’s the author of Creative Blogging: Ninja Writers Guide to Character Development and Bucket Listers, Get Your Brave On. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Stay in touch!