It’s Official: the U.S. Wuz a Third-World Country!
But none of the rest of the Third World would have us.
Yet another Scoop from POOP — Procrastinators Organic Original Publications exclusive:
Finally, officials have verified what leading academicians have suspected for quite a while. The United States is now officially a Third World County.
This means it not only is no longer a member nation of the elitist, Western i.e., Western European i.e., white i.e., white supremacist First World — a membership that was dubious from jump street in 1776 due to our racial diversity.
Never mind that our founding fathers and plantation owners and Westward Ho settlers were diminishing that threat to our standing as fast as they humanly could.
Keeping in mind that benefiting financially from slavery meant they couldn’t have all the Africans go the whole genocide, Trail of Tears route, though many of them sure as heck tried.
They were hell-bent on proving that the First World was not a geographical construct but a state of mind. Achieving that state of mind requires not minding lynchings and mass murders and bloody riots and smallpox blanket drives here, there and everywhere. Cleansing the gene pool, they liked to call it. It didn’t work, no matter how hard they tried — and try they did.
Besides, too many plantation owners could not keep their wee willies out of the slave quarters, necessitating carefully carved categories that took decades to establish. (Like quadroon, octoroon, and maroon) So they only have themselves to blame.
But by the mid-1800’s it was clear, the United States was too declasse to stay in the royal, aristocratic true blue-blooded hoi polloi. Maybe if the South had won. But sadly, it was not to be.
But shhh! There are those who still have not gotten the word that the Civil War is over and that the South lost. Despite huge technical advances like the Pony Express.
Just a Reminder; The Confederates Lost the War
I think somebody needs to tell them.medium.com
So the plummet began.
The U.S. became an unofficial member of the Second World. Now the Second World is a murkier category. The leading country of the Second World used to be the Soviet Union. In its heyday.
But after the fall of the Berlin Wall and the dissolution back into back-stabbing, tribalistic nation-states, there’s not much of a world to really be a part of. It’s more of a fly-by-night Mafia-run gang of hoodlums.
Now some would argue that the First World is no different. Shhhh! While that is true, they have the big bucks to self-promote all kinds of fineries, wineries, and refineries — as in fossil fuel industries — to keep you second-guessing about the First World.
Further evidence of the Second Worldliness of the United States is its willingness to have Donald Trump as its 45th president, and again as its 47th. Ironically, this development followed on the heels of the most dignified, diplomatic, world-class president this country has ever seen. And #46 followed in those footsteps as well, though for some reason, maybe his soft-spokenness or early bedtime, he remains undersung.
And heels is the key word here. Many of us wish Barack played soccer or football as well as basketball so he could have kicked hard with those heels and knocked Trump back to Russia where he came from in the first place.
You would think that such a White Russian Devotee, beholden to Pukin’ Putin, would have been able to hold the line at the Second World. Sadly the Second World was too un-stable to hold all the prancing fillies that Trump wanted to lasso for his harem.
So despite a pissing match in a Moscow hotel room, the raised stakes fell hard. Now we landed clearly in the Third World. Like Dorothy in her house after the tornado, we don’t know if it’s safe to come out — given the pandemic unleashed without any restrictions whatsoever, thanks to #45.
He figured that as long as he was removing one government restriction and regulation after another for corporate profits, why not remove all restrictions on the Coronavirus as well? Seems he can’t tell a virus from a hole in his behind anyway.
We need to be careful about the comparison.
Many and perhaps most Third World countries are doing far better than the U.S. with their handling of the virus. They are not afraid to wear masks and physically distance. They know it saves lives. They know that saving lives is a good thing and they want to do it.
This is advanced rocket science far above # 45’s head and behind. Not only that, but the nations of the Third World also do not want the likes of the Donald disgracing their humble gatherings or uglifying their photo ops. They saw him coming and said, Keep on going, ____. The missing word was not brother, though it sorta rhymes with brother.
So is there a Fourth World? We at POOP are not sure. But we do know there is a Fifth Column. And that’s where the U.S. is about to land if it hasn’t already. How can we Not See, i.e. Nazi, that coming?
For those not in the know, the Fifth Column refers to Gestapo agents operating in the United Kingdom and other places during WWII, spying for the Nazis. Or the likes of Henry Ford and Company making cars and tanks for the Nazi’s. Somebody has to keep fascism alive and well-supplied, right?
Henry Ford Helped Hitler Prepare for World War II
Even after the United States entered the war, Ford was still rolling out trucks for the Nazis.medium.com
It’s a hard job, but heck, we are a nation of workaholics, right? Beginning with the Puritans, we’ve busted our buts for supremacy and exclusivity and the Mighty TIghty Whitey. Why stop now?