More August Holidays and Celebrations to Explore or Expunge–Your Choice
Wouldn’t want to complicate your life during National Simplify It Week
August is still going strong.
Relieving some of the heat and angst of our weary, poopy dog daze, beloved Mudditor,
, posing shamelessly as the Greek God Chronos, provided a list of celebrations to mark our month.
Thank you T. Kent.
Last week I addressed the beginning of the month, including days falling into, drumroll please, Elvis Week. Not being one to start something I can’t finish, or be snarky about royalty, the saga continues through National Simplify Your Life Week. If one or more of these days lights a fire under you, let me know so we can toast marshmallows and make s’mores.
Otherwise, let’s get on with the month.
August 9 National Book Lovers Day
An auspicious day with three celebrations in one. Not just for book lovers, but for hand-holders and polka dancers. If you’re one of those rare birds who can polka while holding hands and reading a book, congratulations! You won third prize!
A pair of polka-dotted lederhosen for your next dance.
Meanwhile, the rest of us are hitting libraries, bookstores, cafes, and quiet cozy corners, finding favorite books, and curling up to read.
Remember that famous pirate, Blue Tooth? Yes, his teeth, not beard, were blue. So engrossed in Treasure Island that when forced to walk the plank, he read all the way into the drink.
Now that’s a bibliophile for you! And the waste of a great book. Argh!
While not so devoted that I’d walk a plank — after all, my endurance is not that long — I still count myself among this tribe. To wit: Confessions of a Life-Long Bibliophilic Claustrophobic Lazy Lady.
August 10 National Lazy Day
The link above, claims I’m lazy. It’s twue, and embarrassing to admit. Especially in our workaholic culture. But now I suddenly fit in.
Don’t tell anyone that I’m not just lazy on Lazy Day. After all, the holiday was designed to give you type A’s a break. Maybe I need to celebrate by defrosting my fridge and running a marathon.
But since it took all the energy I had to type that sentence, I’m thinking not. The beauty of Lazy Day is, you can celebrate it any damn way you want. Just be happy while so doing!
August 11 National Presidential Joke Day
I have two comments.
One — When Trump was in the White House, the joke was on us. And as Gilda Radner’s Lisa Loopner said, “That was so funny, I forgot to laugh.”
Two — Also from Gilda. As TV commentator, Emily Latella. “What’s all this fuss I keep hearing about presidential erections?” After her usual rant, co-anchor Chevy Chase tells her, ”That’s elections, Emily. Presidential elections.” At which point Emily smiles sweetly at the camera and says — everybody! — “Never mind.”
August 12 National Bowling Day
My parents were trophy-winning bowlers.
I tried. I really did. I took a class that didn’t start until I’d knocked down all ten pins. I never got started. Gutter balls Every. Single. Time.
Which answers a huge life question for me. Why were my mind and extracurricular activities always in the gutter? That’s how I got started. At the bowling alley. On Bowling Day. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Now I can blame you for my nefarious carousing. Finally!
August 13 International Lefthanders Day
Even though I write with my right hand, I’m an old lefty.
I marched to end the war in VietNam and to make abortion legal. Remember that? I worked for a union and wrote for lefty rags. While never a card-carrying Marxist-Lenininst, I was a fellow traveler.
And a card-carrying Marxist if we get to count Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Zeppo, which I do. So do you if you’re reading this. Lefties of the world unite! And Marxists!
August 14 World Lizard Day
On this day, we stand with our favorite Komodo Dragons, Green Iguanas, or Gila Monsters, laying on a sunny rock, catching flies on our tongues. Yes, that’s a salamander above — qualifying me for Failures Day.
August 15 National Failures Day
If you didn’t stand or lie with your lizard, you failed.
And we have a day for you. August 15th.
If you missed it, no doubt you’ve failed at something somewhere. More than once, since this is National Failures Day. So write, sing, and shout about it. And then, bake a cake!
August 16 National Roller Coaster Joke Day
Check these out —
Why didn’t the skeleton ride the roller coaster? He didn’t have the guts.
The lift is the best part of a roller coaster. The rest is mostly downhill.
What does a dentist do on a roller coaster? He braces himself.
What do you get if you cross an elk with a roller coaster? An a-moose-ment park.
‘Nuff said.
August 17 National Thrift Shop Day
A new shop, Thrifty Kitty, raises money for a local animal shelter. Out of the Closet supports AIDS programs. Be smart with your thrifty shopping dollars. Or at least, generous.
Because one person’s trash is another person’s trash. We just don’t know it at the time of purchase.
Again folks, don’t forget to celebrate National Simplify Your Life Week. If that means skipping days so painstakingly described above, so be it. That’s the chance I take. Happy August!
Love this!!!! Thanks for sharing not only your thoughts but your wit in writing!