The Uncanny Relationship Between Writing and Toilet Bowling

Which includes cleaning up crappy words and turds

Apr 09, 2026

And I have this little litany of things they can do. And the first one, of course, is to write — every day, no excuses. It’s so easy to make excuses. Even professional writers have days when they’d rather clean the toilet than do the writing. ~ Octavia Butler

Is it so bad to clean the toilet bowl rather than write?

After all, the toilet probably needs a rigorous massage with a brush more than the world needs my words.

So let me warm up for writing, by well, brushing.

A hearty shake of Comet into the bowl to get things started. Grabbing the trusty brush and scrubbing away. It’s all in the rigorous wrist action.

The longer it’s been, of course, the harder I scrub. Looking for tell-tale stains that say catch me if you can. They’re stubborn, those little mocking brown spots.

Yet I am determined to exterminate them all. Every last one of them. Never mind that they are of my issue. I am no longer attached to them the way I once was.

Sometimes, the best thing to do is let go.

Especially in this case. Better to clog my toilet than my guts. Sometimes, in life, we all may need to call Roto-Rooter.

But for the toilet. Not the kind of Roto-Rooter where we have to drink a gallon of radioactive Drain-O the day before, while only allowing tea and broth to pass between our lips.

Far better to call the plumber than the proctologist, that’s for damn sure!

With mindful watching, we can make sure nothing too big and brown goes down. I use an old chopstick to do what its name implies. Chop. Where and as needed. Clog prevention.

Graphic designed by the author on Canva.com

Which is not really about cleaning.

Except that after I chop, there usually is more to clean. And I am glad to do it. All in the name of disaster prevention.

I once made my own Roto-Rooter out of a coat hanger. I didn’t dream that up. I Googled, and that’s what they said to do.

Isn’t Google wonderful?

They think of everything. And by golly, it worked! So I let that hanger hang around in case I need him again. He hangs over the top of the shower, out of harm’s way, as a Guardian of All Things Plumbed, to prevent any more mishaps. Happy to have him.

Happy to clean my toilet.

I love the sparkle and gleam of clean white porcelain.

It tells me I did a good job. Unlike when I finished writing something.

I usually think my writing sparkles and gleams, cause I wrote it. It came out of me. I don’t intend to flush it away. Critics to the contrary.

Far from it.

I intend to publish it. As soon as possible. Cause I wrote it. And I write every day, so it has to be good, right?

But what if it’s crap?

The good thing is, I can make it better.

Especially if I share it with my writer friends and groups. Almost never do they say, it’s just perfect as is. Go for it!

Almost always, someone has a question or a suggestion, which, upon application, adds depth, meaning, detail, or clarity.

I need that. I thrive on that. Even when I kick and scream. Wallow and wail afterward about how they don’t get me.

Well, if they don’t get me, I wasn’t clear. My writing was muddy if not outright crap.

But don’t flush it. Fix it. Revise or reenvision it.

Start over from scratch if need be.

Turn the page. Close my eyes. And begin again.

I love taking the time to write this. It soothes my soul and makes me whole. I feel complete, refreshed, and ready to start my day.

How?

By cleaning my toilet. Cuz, after all, the pen may be mightier than the sword, but it is mightier than the brush? Can it make my prose gleam and sparkle every time?

All proceeds from this story will be donated to Bathrooms Without Borders!

Marilyn Flower is a sacred fool who writes fiction, poetry, and blogs, inspired by the practice of SoulCollage®. Her books: Collage for the Writer’s Soul, Developing Characters, Creative Blogging, Bucket Listers. Follow her Sacred Foolishness, SoulCollage® for Writers, Short Stack, and stay in touch!