What Your Jack-o-Lantern Says About You & Your Personality
That you may or may not want revealed
Like it or not, when we take a knife and carve a face into an innocent pumpkin, we’re revealing our deepest soul-selves to the world.
Yep. You heard right.
But don’t panic. You’re not as naked as you think you are.
The art of face reading is in its infancy. Not nearly as developed as say face-saving or face-sitting.
Have no fear. You’re friendly face reader is here. Ready to clue you in.
The one on top with the goo-goo-googly eyes?
You may have them pegged as a bit crazy, maybe on the spectrum. But you’d be wrong. Or trying too hard.
Take it from an expert face reader. That is the pumpkin oh, so carefully carved by a thirteen-year-old boy or girl prepping for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Mazel Tov! This’s a Jewish Jack-o-Lantern if ever there was one.
Jewish Jack-o-Lantern?
Those googly eyes are actually shofars. AKA the ram’s horns that were just blown on Rosh Hashanna to welcome in the Jewish New Year. Which by the way is 1583.
Those two marks for the nose that look like a deer’s hoof print?
They represent those ornate wooden staves or rollers around which the Torah scroll is wound. That’s not that big of a stretch when you consider Simchat Torah was just a few weeks ago. They finished reading the last chapter of Deuteronomy and began again with Genesis.
Note: Since it’s World Series time, our celebrant is sure to crack a baseball joke referring to “In the big inning.”
Not with the same actual Torah, mind you. Someone rerolls it after the celebration.
And those teeth?
That my friends is a menorah. I know it looks like there are ten teeth, but that’s not how you count them. Count the dark ones pointing down. You’ll get nine. One candle for each of the eight miraculous nights and the Shammash candle that lights them all.
With one night’s oil miraculously lasting for eight, no wonder this pumpkin is smiling!
Who does this beauty remind you of?
If you said, Tammy Faye Baker, you’d be right. Those eyelashes are a dead giveaway. But those aren’t Tammy’s teeth, and they stick out a bit. But don’t they look easy to floss?
This is the face of someone who cares very much about their appearance and hygiene. Meticulously so. But in a nostalgic way. The way some folks keep the same hairstyle that helped attract their mate years ago — oblivious of style or face shape changes since.
Notice the pencil outlines? You’ll see that on their real lips as well. In a lipliner shade noticeably darker than their lipstick. All the rage years ago.
Don’t be too hard on them. Retro never goes out of style. Vintage clothing and antique shops abound. The 20s and 40s were once more popular than the 80s. But they’ve caught up. Putting this gal or guy ahead of the curve.
This person is high as a kite.
Not metaphorically, it being Halloween and all.
Literally. Those are not stars in their eyes. Those are X’s as in XXX. The universal sign of poison. Or spirits. As in booze.
They don’t need a holiday as an excuse. Rolling out of bed is an excuse. ‘Cause if they don’t imbibe, the Delerium Tremens set in. Jack-o-Lantern has Jack Daniels stashed under the bed. And bunches of other hiding places we won’t mention here.
What about those teeth?
Doobies. Hand rolled and ready to go.
’Cause what’s Halloween without a little THC to take the edge off of being inundated with hoards of kiddos screaming, grabbing, crying, and throwing eggs and other dangerous objects? You’d want a few puffs, too.
This here’s a gang.
Ignore the intricacies of the artwork, these guys are tough.
Consider the delicious details of the carving as you would tattoos. But they’re also clues as to their roles in the group.
The Cat with the glasses is the brains behind the operation. He or she — hard to tell gender here — plans their heists and stings.
Zorro pulls the guns on the bank clerks and gets the cash. Scarecrow Skeleton drives the getaway car. And Ghost Guy hides in the background making sure everyone is well-hydrated and takes their vitamins.
That Ominous OG in the center is the leader. A man of few words, he directs with a wink of an eye or twitch of a nose which says who stays and who goes. So stay on his good side and don’t make waves.
Mum’s the word.
This pumpkin reveals absolutely nothing about its creator.
It’s too bland and generic for even this experienced face reader to discern any subtleties in it whatsoever. Note the simple triangles for the eyes and nose. Cliched, boring, done to death.
Aside from being a bit large, the mouth is fairly typical as well. Rough-hewn and jagged. What else is new?
Not a thing. On the face.
It’s what’s below the face that reveals. Plenty.
That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong or bad here. Far from it. This may well be the most intriguing presentation of the bunch. For obvious reasons. Besides, overanalyzing takes the fun out of it.
So I'll leave you with this maxim — anything in fishnets is a good catch.
Happy Halloween!
Marilyn Flower writes humor to laugh the changes she wants to see and make. She’s the author of Creative Blogging: Ninja Writers Guide to Character Development and Bucket Listers, Get Your Brave On. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Stay in touch!