Why Correct Spelling and Grammar Matter in Text and Email Messages
In defense of the peculiarities and persnickety-ness of our mother tongue
Here’s a question:
Does correct spelling and grammar matter in a text message or email?
Are you kidding me? Does the Pope poop in the woods? Are you out of your mind?
Of course, correct spelling and grammar matter in a text message or email!
How many years of spelling classes did you have in elementary school? That’s how many years we all have invested in the art and science of correct spelling.
And let’s face it, English is a speller’s nightmare.
God forbid you should have asthma. It’s a helluva disease. But can you imagine having to pronounce the ‘th’ every time you said your diagnosis? People would think you’re lisping, maybe making fun of gay people. Not something you want to be caught dead doing during Pride month, mind you.
Or have you ever lined up in a queue? Maybe for tickets to a rock concert or Broadway musical? While standing there waiting your turn, think about what you’re doing. What you’re standing in. Not a simple line, but a bonafide queue, which gives it way more class and pizzazz.
How long did it take you to learn how to spell that word?
That’s probably how long you’ll be standing in that line. It’s easy to confuse it with cue. Which sounds the same so it’s a homonym. But means something entirely different. Especially if you get hit by one. So mind your Ps and queues at your local pool hall.
So hear me out. We’ve spent years learning how to spell. Not an easy thing to do in English. Why would we throw that hard-earned knowledge out the window for expediency’s sake, just because texts and emails are considered caszh?
If nothing else, we want to show off what good spellers we are. Not how lazy we are, right?
Or have our grammatical manners gone the way of the chthonic pterodactyl? You may think these are subtle distinctions, not the stuff we really knead to know to communicate effectively and modernistically. I lie awake at night with these worries gnawing away at my soul, wondering if my readers here will turn out to be friends or faux.
What I’ve just laid out for spelling holds true for grammar.
Don’t disrespect your grammar! Not on email. Not even in a text.
Just cause she can’t see so good. And texting is a little beyond her visual, technical, and manual dexterity. You may be all thumbs, but Granny, certainly, is not.
One way to respect your grammar is to obey her rules.
Rules such as:
~Keep your knees together when wearing a skirt or a dress. And while you’re squeezing your knees, you might as well squeeze your Kegels. Isometrics are so good for you.
~Don’t talk with a mouth full of food. Hungry varmints might consider it an invitation.
~Don’t talk about someone behind their back. That’s what email and texting are for.
So out of respect to your elders, your grands, and your mother tongue, by all means, use correct spelling and grammar in all of your missives. Be they snail mail, email, text, or chiseled into stone. Especially if they’re chiseled into stone. You don’t want your mistakes, however cute or clever preserved for all eternity, or haunting you in the next life.
Or do you?
rulz r rulz after all, n rulz r mnt 2 b brok’n.
But 1st u hav to no the rul n order to brak it. Capiche?
Marilyn Flower writes humor to laugh the changes she wants to see and make. She’s the author of Creative Blogging: Ninja Writers Guide to Character Development and Bucket Listers, Get Your Brave On. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Stay in touch!
Why Correct Spelling and Grammar Matter in Text and Email Messages
I love this. You are so funny. I couldn't stop giggling while reading this one.